Welcome to The Group 👋🏻

This is a living document that we hope will help you get the most out of our trans educational group.  This document serves as a quick explainer of our group, the things we can do for you, and what you should expect in terms of the group atmosphere and culture.  It will also help you to get the most out of the group. 

This guide will help you ask better questions, get better answers, and have a good experience in the group.  It will also have some really useful links to help you navigate the group.  We recommend you bookmark this document for easy access.  It should take you less than 10 minutes to read through this entire document. If you do, you’ll have a much better experience in our group.

About The Group

Our group is a community of volunteer educators who help to teach cisgender folks (see below if you don’t know that term) about transgender issues and our lives. by talking about our lived experiences, we hope we can give you a better feel, and empathy, for the trans experience.

Helpful Language

Some quick terms you might want to know: 

  • Transgender / Trans (adj) - a person who is not the gender they were assigned at birth. (Good usage: “transgender people,” “trans people,” trans men,” “trans women”) 
    • DO NOT call folks “transgenders” or “transgendered”
    • DO NOT refer to trans women as “transwomen” 
      • It’s two separate words.  Trans is an adjective that modifies the noun “women.” You would use it the same way as anything else like “tall woman.” 
  • Cisgender / Cis (adj) - a person who is the identity they were assigned at birth. 
  • AMAB / AFAB (acronyms) - Assigned Male at Birth / Assigned Female at Birth
    • Please use these instead of MTF or FTM. 
      • NOTE: Some transgender people choose to use labels like MTF or FTM for themselves. It’s important to not correct trans folks on the language they use to represent themselves in this case, but you should not use these terms casually.

DOs and DON'Ts

Here is a quick list of tips to help you navigate the group and have the best possible experience so you can get the most out of it.  

DO 

  • DO Remember that folks in this group are human beings with their own lived experience.  We want to help you learn, but a lot of us spend our entire days and lives being belittled and mistreated — so please try to be polite and kind in your questions. 
  • DO check the mega threads and hot topics to see if one of them covers the question you have. 
  • DO trust the lived experience of trans people.  This group is for you to get exposure to information about trans folks, it’s not a place for you to have a lively debate about whether or not we deserve dignity and rights. 
  • DO use the words “admin,” “mod,” “mods,” “admins,” or “modmins” in comments to alert the administrators of the group if you feel a conversation is getting confrontational.  If we get to these situations earlier than later we can usually help clear up misunderstandings. 
  • DO message our page (LINKED HERE) for any of the following: 
    • Asking an anonymous question - Some questions you just don’t want your name attached to, we get it.  If you have a question like that you can message the page directly and one of our admins will get ya set up
    • Getting advice on how to word a question - words matter a lot, and we can help you find the most respectful ways to ask questions to help avoid folks getting upset because you accidentally phrased things in a way that wasn’t great. 
    • Messaging the admins with a problem. - The page messenger is a great way to alert us to issues you’re having in the group, get clarification on the rules, etc., 
  • DO be in a learning frame of mind. — this group is for educating people who are open to new information.  Be prepared to give up on old ideas or things you felt certain of before, not everything is as you’ve been taught before.  
  • DO follow guidance from the admins and moderators.  You might see us posting signage or instruction.  Do be mindful of that as we do that to keep threads orderly. 
  • DO make sure to read through threads and sub-threads before commenting.  
    • This helps to keep threads tidy by keeping similar conversations together.  If someone else has already asked your question either read that thread or join in!

DON’T

  • DON’T snap back or get testy if a member of the community seems terse, short, or angry with you.  We’re all human beings and we have good days and bad days.  We get a lot of folks saying incredibly rude and hurtful things to us and a lot of us have trauma conditions like PTSD. If someone says something that seems aggressive to you, please ignore it and move onto the next comment. 
  • DON’T talk over trans folks.
    • You’re going to get a lot of terms and phrases you either haven’t heard before or don’t understand.  And that’s OK.  Asking questions is good!  What’s not great is arguing with trans people about their lived experience and the words we use to describe ourselves and that experience.  
    • If you’re being offered a consistent correction by folks in a thread, please accept that or at least consider it.  It doesn’t feel great when someone comes to be educated but they refuse the learning.  If you find yourself having trouble understanding or accepting information, you can always ask more questions. 
    • DO NOT Tell transgender individuals that certain words and phrases are OK after you’ve been told they are not.  Please accept guidance on language from our members about the appropriate language to use with us. 

Links

Image Guide

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